Ok! I have a confession to make. I'm tired of this blog-thingy. This has always been the problem with me, if I'm not enthusiastic about something all the time or if my enthusiasm dies during a process of something I get bored and tired and my passion vanishes. I can't go on doing stuff I don't like, if I'm not burning for the thing I am doing. And lets admit I haven't been a very active blogger. So now I've tried having a personal blog and a facebook account and discovered that they aren't for me. Bye for now! Who knows maybe I'll write a thing or two when I feel the itch in my hands.

I have no inspiration....I'm stressed out for a change even though my attitude towards life is sound and healthy. I just can't do anything about that I have two tests this week and that I have to travel four hours tomorrow just for a course AND I have to hand in a book summary this week. I'm screwed! And did I mention I hate travelling by trains.

Nightmare

I had such a weird nightmare this morning. In my dream one of my cousins had become a psychopath and tried to burn down our house. When I tried to escape, he set fire on me. This dream was too intense for me and I woke up all sweaty. Normally I forget many details from my dreams but this one was different. Nice way to start a day huh?!

Seriously!

I learnt a new thing today, during my control check-up with gynacologist. It's a male, but really it didn't matter. He asked me if I'd like to take an HPV test, I declined as he took one five years ago. Then he told me about the papillom virus and said that in 99,8 % cases of cervical cancer is this virus involved. In other words women who have been infected by this virus tend to develop cervical cancer later on. He asked me to come and visit only if I have a problem and said in a very nice way that "it is not a chronic disease to be a woman", like the media want us to believe.
So the cervical cancer is a "fruit" of free sexuality....Maybe that's why fucking around is forbidden in some cultures (even if it's done stealthily).

The freedom of using your body the way you wan't is a good thing but the social pressure that comes along with it is maybe the main problem. I remember how I was reminded from time to time about my unconventional sexual behaviour which didn't include kissing random guys or having sex during my adolescence just on trial basis again with a random guy. To share my intimate parts with anybody was just not my cup of tea. But there was this pressure that teenagers used to put on eachother to lose their virginity and brag about how many people they've been with....you get the point!

I hope our coming generations learn that sex is one of the most beautiful things in the world when love and passion are involved in the picture. Call me old fashioned but its worth waiting for, in my opinion. Ok now I'm starting to sound like a 50 year old mom!


Artist: Momar Ndiaye

I'm pregnant :D

And these are my twins to be....


I'm so happy!! These babies are on their way home to me!! I've been drooling for them for about an year, and they are sooo hard to find, I've searched for them in almost every internet shop i've known. Vagabond had them once 2007, and silly me who didn'y buy them at that time. I know that juusto and vero won't like them but I'll still love my twins!

Substitute for lo....school

I was complaining to a friend of mine about the fact the nobody has called me ever since I quit working as a daycare assistant. I called various schools to confirm my availability as a substitute when needed but it seemed like my assistance was unwanted, until three o'clock this afternoon when a lady asked me to be a subsitute for her on friday. I was filled with joy!!!

But then I started thinking about how much time has passed since I touched any of the mathematics, geography and biology books. Back in the days I was a topper when it came to maths and biology, but now I just know a bit about religion and psychology. When I thought even harder another thing struck me, what if these 5 graders know more than me??

But does it really matter if a 10 year old knows more than a 25 year old. No, not really. I just have to admit in front of the class about stuff that I don't know anything about. It's hard to face the reality but I don't have any other choice and this is just the beginning of my career. I suppose there'd be more and even harder challanges to face in my coming profession.

Labour day and labour day's eve

Well well, where to start? I've been enjoying my ass off. It all started on thursday with a picnic with fellow students and good food. The day ended with the student unions dinner. In great company and all dressed up we found ourselves eating well prepared food. However, the lame "sitz" character of the party was one of the let downs, along with the music you couldn't shake to. But the dessert was great.

On labour's day we started with a picnic again, we sat on vårdberget for hours and I happened to get a tan. Afterwards, all of us went to the basketball court near us and played basket ball. We were about seven so we had a great game. We even had spectators. After about two hours of a fast game we tried to have a power nap but none of us could sleep. So well gathered again and ended our lovely day with a slow ice-hockey match, and finland won!

It's funny how much time I spend with my fiancés friends. Maybe because I'm kind of a tom boy and feel more comfortable in relaxed environment. Of course I love my friends too, but girls usually never tell you if there is any problem in a straight forward manner. They usually throw it in your face in different ways. And I sometimes wonder if they really spend time making up different dialogues with incorporated nastiness. I'll give you an example, One of my friends once said something in this way to me "you don't have a problem with other guys touching you, but I do". And then I thought about why would she say something like that to me...and then I remembered. There was a fellow student who was, about five years younger and for me like a little brother, showing me how to give a neck massage (and not really giving one). She interpret the situation, judged me on that basis and passed on a nasty comment after about one month. Of course there are guys to who could behave in this way but the ones I've hung out with would ask frankly.

People usually stigmatise platonic relations between men and women in eastern cultures but why do people do it here in the west? So what's the use of a free culture if the mentality has stopped developing after 19th century?

And another thing I discussed with some of my girl friends is their amiguous behaviour. I am a person who talks about everything and that includes everything! But some of my finnish girl friends find it indecent to for example talk about sex. The ambiguity of the situation is that they don't mind having a lot of sex, drunk with different people but talking about it is somehow indecent and not ladylike..?!! I personally think that a person's actions are indecent (if you like judging people) and not his/her words. And the strange thing is that my friends are western and I come from an old and "backward" eastern culture.