Perspective

Its easier to sit behind a screen and judge people....This blogg entry gave a new dimension to the "facebook suicide" discussion. However it doesn't change my ideas of facebook and its shallowness.

To be or not to be...

...a member of social networking site is not a question for me anymore. Been there, done that...nothing for me. The main problem is that a person's social agenda is defined by his/hers activity on the site or how many "friends" a person has. I had about 140 "friends" on facebook, I deleted my account, opened it again after an year and deleted people I couldn't care less about from my friends' list. And guess what? I could delete 100 of them in a jiffy. Why? because I have no personal connection to these people. My account is permanently deleted now, and amen for that!

I read this article which convinced me about the kind of activity people are interested in while spending their time on facebook. A similar case took place in my hometown too. An old acquaintance (whom I wasn't friend with on facebook) wrote "hejdå jakobstad" on his status update, and then committed suicide by jumping off his balcony. He died later on after hitting his skull on the footpath. Why didn't anyone react?

Jealousy, curiousness (not interest), gossiping and hatred are the key words. Most of the facebook users just want to spy, others want to brag about their "social" lives, some like to update every "thought" the have and everything they do EVERYDAY. It's all about me, me, me. Of course their are those who are genuinely interested in maintaining contact with friends but I could count them on the fingers of my right hand. A friend in need is a friend indeed and not a friend on facebook!

Does online social networking make you more empathetic or is the case other way around?

Hats off for the new generation!!

I've witnessed so much "equalism" amongst my students, and I love it. Kids nowadays seem to stand up for their own personalities more than we did. During my teens most of the kids had these stone aged ideas of men and women but the kids of the 90's seem to have bulldozed over our wall of stupidity between the male and female sex.
I saw guys (aged 13-19) sing solos AND shake on stage. Not only one but about 10-15. It was amazing. My 7th graders got a group assignment which they had to transcribe on coloured sheets. I have four different seven graders and whenever I asked them to pick a colour, in EVERY class boys were the first to choose a pink sheet. The older teenage guys couldn't agree more on that the society "stupid declares" men as it is more acceptable for a man to give his own child up than for a woman. Either way its not ok as there is no difference between the quantity or the quality of love, dedication and affection both sexes provide a child.

Exploring the intellect

Teenagers are so much fun to work with. Sometimes they are the worst hippocrates. They often complain when they'd like to show their appriciation. Other times they are just spontaneous, they say whatever comes to their minds. Some of them even love making up stories, it's very hard to tell whether they are telling the truth or if they like to create dispute amongst teachers. Either way, they have a wild imagination.
However, one should never underestimate them. Today our discussions were so intense that we all forgot about the time. Everytime I have these discussions, I get new perspectives. I mean its hard not to develop when you are surrounded by about 100 different people and each and everyone of them has a unique background and life story. I love my job because I get the access to the personal thoughts of so many wonderful people and THAT helps me widen my horizons. Acheiving new perspectives never change you as a person, they only make you smarter in long term (or I hope so). There is a whole philosophy behind the stupid concept of hard headedness and I've left that philosophy behind me when I was a teen....I think :)

Nostalgia

Aaah a typical finnish song with a fusion of cool instruments from around the world. This song reminds me of what finnish spirituality is about. I was about fifteen when this song came out and I was so proud of knowing this band personally. Unfortunately the band is still alive but the members have changed as well as their soothing sound. I remember watching them perform on Jakobs dagar and they quickly made a place in the hearts people of all ages and nationalities. This band was so full of energy, they were dancing around, changing instruments on the stage while performing. They weren't able to leave the stage beacuse of their appriciated music.

A-list

Just struck me that I have had many different hobbies throughout my life. I've never been the competitive type. Of course a like competition but only with myself, never with other people. Maybe that's why I stop with a hobby when it gets boring. BUT its always fun to learn new stuff and in the end its all about finding and developing new ablities in oneself. As I'm the only one reading this blog I'd write down a list of things I've been doing to kill time since childhood :D

So here it goes:
Drawing
Painting
Playing, playing, playing
Yoga
Dancing (bollywood and indian folk dances)
Karate
Oldskool rollerskating
Basket ball
Theatre
Belly dancing
Writing poems and rhymes
Scouting
Playing piano (sooo boring)
"interval running"
Bailatino (if you can call it a hobby)
Flamenco (before my knee got all screwed up)
Swimming
Crafts
Sewing
Weaving
Chearleading (in junior high)
Choir singing
Gymming (haha)
Ballroom dancing
Writing a column (I did it for pleasure)
Travelling
Food (some of my friends call me a culinarist as I love tasting AND cooking and experimenting with all kinds new dishest. If I am in another country I taste exactly everything I find attractive even if I'm not hungry, except raw meat.)
Languages
Henna "tattooing" (I even had my own business of henna tattoos when I was 14-16)
Homemade cosmetics experimenting


And now I'll learn skiing. I hope I don't mess upp any of my body parts.

Have even planned to learn how to properly craft wood....I've allways wanted to learn carpentry.

Wish me luck!

I feel like a teen again.

This song awakes a strange feeling of lacking a big part of my life. Reminds me to be greatful for being one of those lucky people who get to know the feeling of being loved by someone.

haha... just noticed that underbaraclara had blogged about almost the same topic.....well it's nothing new.

One rule.

A very western phenomenon in my eyes is the one where it is soooooo important to place oneself and others in different categories. Its expected of you that you should know exactly what kind of music you like, if you are an animal activist, or if you like putting black makeup on yourself and what type things you avoid like different shops, foods, clothes or people just so that you can define yourself. Like evething else. Even your relations. People tend to reliquish things they like just to fit in some stupid idea of society's box. Or their a box they've created themselves to be an individual. Being an individual is doing things that really give you pleasure without putting handicapping boundries. Its important to see oneself as a person and not a category.

We are aware of universal stereotypes about men and women. I'd like to say the same thing here. Why this division? Pink is feminine, blue is masculine, flowers are feminine, hammers are masculine, women gossip, men don't (haha), women are vain, men aren't, women should be slim, men should have muscles, women don't fart (what the fuck? Its natural), men do......the list is long. Bottomline is there have always been, in my opinion inhumane expectations on women AND men. Most of the time women are looked down upon. Why is the word "ladies" used in a depreciative manner. Many women feel proud to be called "tomboys" but the case is not vice verca. Not even gay men feel comfortable when their sexual orientation is questioned. Why is it aggrading if a woman is called a man and degrading if man is called a woman? Especially womens consumtion is looked down upon. Even men consume ALOT but their consumption is never questioned or even seen as a problem. One thing that bugs me is that feminists always blame the degraded position of women on men and forget that women are no passive creatures when it comes to developing the society. I'd call that chauvinism and the "big" news is that there are as many chauvinist men AS women. Feminism isn't about lifting up women as a higher caste of mankind or about women trying to be men, its about seeing men AND women as persons.

I've allways loved playing with cars, guns and i've even wresteled with my cousin and my brother. I love movies that ususally are categorised as boy movies (not for the reason) and I do fart and burp ALOT (even my boyfriend thinks that i'm disgusting sometimes....hihi), I love everytime I see a muscle popping up on my body, I love eating (no matter where the food is from), I love buing clothes and shoes, I love doing and watching sports, I've always been goal orientated and taken the first step when it comes to guys i've liked in the past and not waited for the guy to come to me, I've allways felt insulted when a man has called me beautiful (never proud as I've felt my personaity to be belittled as its just the genes) I hate making my hair in the morning (which my brother loves to do), am I a tomboy? been called that before and to that I answer that "I am a woman and very proud of if!"

Femininity should be enjoyed, it's nothing to be ashamed of!

Correction! It's called sunshine eyes and not crows' feet!

After a long time I've felt the "munchies" of writing something down. I read my old posts and have come to realise that I've come far. I am the kind of person who says (and writes), a bit too much and things I don't mean. In other words I'm not very smooth with my comments, but thats just me, I often think afterwards.

My life now is so different, other responsibilities but even if I'm working I still kind of lack the feeling of work. And that's a good thing! I guess. Cause if you don't see your work as a liability you can enjoy it on a totally different level. I love my work, but then again I've just been working for about 2 months.

Things change but the most important thing that you don't! However development, mental growth are totally different. Someone once said "Developing is not the same thing as growing old, it is when you stop developing you start to grow old".

I guess that's what they mean with the phrase "to grow old gracefully" AND accepting everything that comes along with it as a gift. I still remember me asking my grandma about when I would get those beautiful lines she had on her face and her silvergrey hair. Why is ageing something to be looked down on. For me these lines are a reminders of a person's wisdom and life experience. So to hell with anti wrinkle creams that awake shame in people for being beautiful.

Ok! I have a confession to make. I'm tired of this blog-thingy. This has always been the problem with me, if I'm not enthusiastic about something all the time or if my enthusiasm dies during a process of something I get bored and tired and my passion vanishes. I can't go on doing stuff I don't like, if I'm not burning for the thing I am doing. And lets admit I haven't been a very active blogger. So now I've tried having a personal blog and a facebook account and discovered that they aren't for me. Bye for now! Who knows maybe I'll write a thing or two when I feel the itch in my hands.

I have no inspiration....I'm stressed out for a change even though my attitude towards life is sound and healthy. I just can't do anything about that I have two tests this week and that I have to travel four hours tomorrow just for a course AND I have to hand in a book summary this week. I'm screwed! And did I mention I hate travelling by trains.

Nightmare

I had such a weird nightmare this morning. In my dream one of my cousins had become a psychopath and tried to burn down our house. When I tried to escape, he set fire on me. This dream was too intense for me and I woke up all sweaty. Normally I forget many details from my dreams but this one was different. Nice way to start a day huh?!

Seriously!

I learnt a new thing today, during my control check-up with gynacologist. It's a male, but really it didn't matter. He asked me if I'd like to take an HPV test, I declined as he took one five years ago. Then he told me about the papillom virus and said that in 99,8 % cases of cervical cancer is this virus involved. In other words women who have been infected by this virus tend to develop cervical cancer later on. He asked me to come and visit only if I have a problem and said in a very nice way that "it is not a chronic disease to be a woman", like the media want us to believe.
So the cervical cancer is a "fruit" of free sexuality....Maybe that's why fucking around is forbidden in some cultures (even if it's done stealthily).

The freedom of using your body the way you wan't is a good thing but the social pressure that comes along with it is maybe the main problem. I remember how I was reminded from time to time about my unconventional sexual behaviour which didn't include kissing random guys or having sex during my adolescence just on trial basis again with a random guy. To share my intimate parts with anybody was just not my cup of tea. But there was this pressure that teenagers used to put on eachother to lose their virginity and brag about how many people they've been with....you get the point!

I hope our coming generations learn that sex is one of the most beautiful things in the world when love and passion are involved in the picture. Call me old fashioned but its worth waiting for, in my opinion. Ok now I'm starting to sound like a 50 year old mom!


Artist: Momar Ndiaye

I'm pregnant :D

And these are my twins to be....


I'm so happy!! These babies are on their way home to me!! I've been drooling for them for about an year, and they are sooo hard to find, I've searched for them in almost every internet shop i've known. Vagabond had them once 2007, and silly me who didn'y buy them at that time. I know that juusto and vero won't like them but I'll still love my twins!

Substitute for lo....school

I was complaining to a friend of mine about the fact the nobody has called me ever since I quit working as a daycare assistant. I called various schools to confirm my availability as a substitute when needed but it seemed like my assistance was unwanted, until three o'clock this afternoon when a lady asked me to be a subsitute for her on friday. I was filled with joy!!!

But then I started thinking about how much time has passed since I touched any of the mathematics, geography and biology books. Back in the days I was a topper when it came to maths and biology, but now I just know a bit about religion and psychology. When I thought even harder another thing struck me, what if these 5 graders know more than me??

But does it really matter if a 10 year old knows more than a 25 year old. No, not really. I just have to admit in front of the class about stuff that I don't know anything about. It's hard to face the reality but I don't have any other choice and this is just the beginning of my career. I suppose there'd be more and even harder challanges to face in my coming profession.

Labour day and labour day's eve

Well well, where to start? I've been enjoying my ass off. It all started on thursday with a picnic with fellow students and good food. The day ended with the student unions dinner. In great company and all dressed up we found ourselves eating well prepared food. However, the lame "sitz" character of the party was one of the let downs, along with the music you couldn't shake to. But the dessert was great.

On labour's day we started with a picnic again, we sat on vårdberget for hours and I happened to get a tan. Afterwards, all of us went to the basketball court near us and played basket ball. We were about seven so we had a great game. We even had spectators. After about two hours of a fast game we tried to have a power nap but none of us could sleep. So well gathered again and ended our lovely day with a slow ice-hockey match, and finland won!

It's funny how much time I spend with my fiancés friends. Maybe because I'm kind of a tom boy and feel more comfortable in relaxed environment. Of course I love my friends too, but girls usually never tell you if there is any problem in a straight forward manner. They usually throw it in your face in different ways. And I sometimes wonder if they really spend time making up different dialogues with incorporated nastiness. I'll give you an example, One of my friends once said something in this way to me "you don't have a problem with other guys touching you, but I do". And then I thought about why would she say something like that to me...and then I remembered. There was a fellow student who was, about five years younger and for me like a little brother, showing me how to give a neck massage (and not really giving one). She interpret the situation, judged me on that basis and passed on a nasty comment after about one month. Of course there are guys to who could behave in this way but the ones I've hung out with would ask frankly.

People usually stigmatise platonic relations between men and women in eastern cultures but why do people do it here in the west? So what's the use of a free culture if the mentality has stopped developing after 19th century?

And another thing I discussed with some of my girl friends is their amiguous behaviour. I am a person who talks about everything and that includes everything! But some of my finnish girl friends find it indecent to for example talk about sex. The ambiguity of the situation is that they don't mind having a lot of sex, drunk with different people but talking about it is somehow indecent and not ladylike..?!! I personally think that a person's actions are indecent (if you like judging people) and not his/her words. And the strange thing is that my friends are western and I come from an old and "backward" eastern culture.

What a lovely day!!!

Today was full of love, italian ice-cream, sun, basketball and my favourite game at the moment burnout 3! What more can I ask for!

This song can pretty much explain my mood! Enjoy!!

Try staring at the four dots for about 30 s and then close your eyes.


Its been an interesting week. I'm back on course for my studies especially theology. I've been excersizing. I've been shopping but I only spent 2 euros on rubber gloves. This must be the first time in my life that I went shopping with someone and didn't buy anything else than the essential rubber gloves. Well well, I just need money to buy stuff.

Yaay! I just read that Dan Brown is releasing a sequal to Da Vinci code in september. Can't wait to listen to the book as I don't reall like reading, I cannot concentrate hard enough while reading. Listning, on the other hand makes me feel like somebody is telling me a story. By the way Åbo's cahedral's altar is decorated with a piece of art based on The last supper and I stared at it for a looong time and came to one conclusion, that the person sitting to Jesus's right is a woman or else it's a very feminine man with soft skin, no beard, nice curly hair, narrow shoulders and totally non muscular hands, unlike the other disciples...Just go and have a look! Maybe it's unnecessary to write all this, but I'm not writing this to offend anyone, its just fun to investigate a bit....just a bit....

The kinder love story

The guy who created kinder eggs must a genius! Such an exciting sort of sweet.


I still remember how I met this exciting thing and fell in love with it. It was a cold october evening, my second in Finland. One of my first friends in Finland got money from her mother to buy some candy for me and her. I wanted the egg that looked so inviting. She bought one for me and one for herself, they were 3 marks something back then. I just couldn't wait to open and see what kind of sweet she had bought for me. I opened it and ate the delicious 2 in 1 chocolate, milk and white! I discovered the yellow capsule inside and didn't know what to expect. I somehow managed to open it and to my surprise (yeah I know) there were small bits inside. I looked at the instructions and with a concentration level at its top I assembled them and voilà I created my first kindersurprise turtoise with wheels.
Our love has grown ever since. The detailed toys are just admirable. I've collected almost a kilo of these cute toys. This egg always bring a smile on my face as it is so full of surprises some good as in stuff to build, some bad like pussles and readymade toys. I still buy them and every single time I experience immense excitement.