Marriages

I recently sat and thought about marriage system in India and Finland and the differences between them. In India it is more common with arrange marriages but nowadays love marriages (i.e. the western way) are also becoming more and more acceptable. In the past love marriages weren't considered as something to be strived for because of the consequences seen in the west, in other words a lot of divorces.

Arranged marriages work because both in the couple try to fit in with eachother, do compromises and try not to give up so easily. But you still are married to a stranger, whom you chose yourself, and the thought of that scares me. Sometimes people even sacrifice themselves for children sake and stay in a bad marriage as divorces are harsh on kids. (So are some bad marriages). In west it's common with the phrase "your kids, my kids and our kids"; step-siblings, halv-siblings, stepmothers and fathers are, for me an absurd, reality in every other finnish kid's life.

I am not trying to justify arranged marriages or defame love marriages as I don't think that the problem lies in the marriagesystems, it is the mentality. In India it is expected of the girl to bring a big dowry along with her, as marriage is something that happens between two families. In the poorer regions the girl's family is not allowed to live peacefully by the society if the girl is seperated from her huband. But these things are gradually changing and the middle-class and upper middle-class people already are more broad minded.

In the west people usually give up too easily on marriages and rush in some cases after that into unwanted relations just to not feel lonely. To get a divorce you just sign two papers and demolish the house of love that you had built brick for brick. But thank god that mentality is changing. Of what I've seen people are becoming more serious about the constitution of marriage and about building a family. People nowadays tend to fight more to make relations work. Of course it has to be done from both sides, but still.

To be clear, I'm writing this on the basis of what I've seen in majority in both countries. So don't blame me for generalising. Here I would like to cite a famous comedian Russell Peters "I don't make up stereotypes, I see them".